Ben Lewis

Judge in a Moscow courthouse entered the judge’s chambers laughing his head off.
‘What is so funny?’ his colleagues enquired.
‘I just heard a terrific joke.’
‘Let us hear it.’
‘I can’t, for that joke I just sentenced the accused to three years.’

An Englishman, an American and a Russian were arguing about which nation was the bravest.
‘We are,’ said the Englishman, ‘every fourth one of us is lost at sea but we continue to sail.’
‘No,’ replied the American, ‘we are the bravest. Every third one of us dies in auto accidents but we continue to drive automobiles.’
The Russian shook his head: ‘We are the boldest. Although our society is riddled with informers and prison sentences are severe, we continue to tell anecdotes.’

A newcomer observes the inmates telling political jokes. All the jokes are by now so deeply familiar that they simply refer to them by number. Forty three,’ says one. General hilarity. ‘Two hundred and three’ says a second. Appreciative chuckles. ‘Three hundred and twenty nine,’ says a third. The newcomer decides to try his hand. ‘Ninety-one,’ he ventures. Total silence. He tries again: ‘Three hundred and one.’ Not a titter. ‘Forty two.’ A deadly hush. Puzzled, he asks his neighbor what he did wrong. ‘Nothing,’ he says. ‘It’s just the way you tell them.’