Ben Lewis

The delegate of a district educational department visited a school. He asked a little boy, ‘Can you tell me how the world in which we live came into being?’ After a few minutes of hesitation, the boy answered, ‘The world was created by God.’ ‘You are a stupid reactionary scamp. Sit down,’ shouted the delegate. ‘Now children, who is able to give me the correct answer?’ Little Ivan put up his hand and the angry comrade called on him to answer the question. ‘It is true that the world was created by God, but prior to that, several famous Soviet scientists had concerned themselves with this problem!’

Shooting in Budapest
 
Sasha was talking to Tomas about the several five-year plans. ‘After the fifth year, everybody will have a bicycle. After the sixth year everyone will have a car. By the seventh year, every Russian will have a jet plane.’ His friend asked, ‘What would I do with a jet plane?’ “’You fool’ was the retort. ‘Suppose you hear they’re going to have matches on sale in Vladivostok and you live in Kursk. So, you hop in your jet plane, and whoosh — you’re first in line for the matches.’

‘That’s Comrade Smirnov, an inventor.’
‘And what did he invent?’
‘Oh, lots of things. He invented the electric light bulb, the fountain pen, the razor blade, the transistor radio and the internal combustion engine.’
‘And who’s that, then?” asked the tourist, pointing to another statue, also of a man with beard and glasses.
‘That’s Comrade Surkov,’ said the guide. ‘He was also an inventor.’
‘And what did he invent?’
‘Comrade Smirnov.’